Honestly?
I'm not ok at all. I don't know why either.

Was so afraid to hurt someone, but I ended up getting hurt.

it seems like nothing is going right now
and there is only so much i can do

forget about it, move on, and become a better person.

i hope i find myself in one of these nights. I don't need anyone's help. I can do this myself. just give me time.

Always December

I wonder if you miss that time as much as I miss it.
I wonder if you think of me as much as I think of you.

我已经习惯一个人了

从皮包里抽出我们的照片
沙发要移到客厅的另一边
晚饭后你可以多抽几口香烟
已经没什么人 会埋怨

一个人偶尔感到寂寞在所难免
你的气味 还留在枕头边

就算以后要我孤单一个人生活
我也不要忘记过去和你的记忆

sacrifices

today is a bad day
a really bad day
i am blamed for everything
just slap me
just do it
beat me hit me
i don't care anymore
whatever u say is right
i sat there unfazed, did not move, was waiting for it
but none

i cannot feel my eyes
where are my eyes
stop drowning pls

yeah yeah i'm blind i'm fucking blind so fuck it

느낌아니까

Do you know how hard it is, to just watch everything happen in front of your eyes
Do you know how hurtful it is, to know all these?
It's not easy at all, and I don't know why, but it also hurts so much. I'm trying so hard, but you can't see it. I'm trying my best, but you won't see it. It's like I'm poking this open wound I have, again and again, I'm letting my wound be meddled with. I bruise easily and it hurts physically, but the emotional pain hurts so much more than my bruises.
No matter how much I tell myself to forget it, no matter how hard I try to avoid, how hard I try to run away from reality, I still have to face the cold hard reality in front of me.
I'm not strong enough to face it over and over again.
I've been trying so hard to avoid it. Why do I have to face it? Why!!!!!!!!!
Tried to change my lifestyle to a healthier one, but I guess there's no better replacement of this pain.
Like a drug I turn to it again, to forget everything for at least a while, to stop the pain for at least a while.